My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Just sell the vehicle. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. ". But you cant have both. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Part of HuffPost Relationships. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. handing in my dad card. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. It's too late to impress them. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Like exhaustation. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Part of HuffPost Parenting. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. 8: We only go. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. Wishing you all a good weekend! One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. i have failed me. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My daughter has an Instagram account now. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. NOBODY MOVE. They started fighting. WANT. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. Kids are terrifying. So anyway, he's my new therapist. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. Because shes in the livingroom. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. 1. i have failed you. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. ". My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I got mad. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Sign up to follow me here! MORNING. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Only one of us thinks this is funny. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Sign up to follow me here! unless theres ice cream later. Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Me: You mean red light, green light. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The sun is shining. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. Wishing you all a good weekend! I didn't know it was that serious. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! ". One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Also, uh oh, summer. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. 8: It's Mom. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. Me: its time to goKids: wait. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. My sons friend came over for dinner. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. Im 40. Think twice about what you say in front of them. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Main Menu. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? 90% of parenting is crumb identification. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. Janene #1 You better believe it My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? Part of HuffPost Parenting. Wait, what color is the fence? That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Hold on to it. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. This is exactly why I wanted chips! My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. , Excellent news! Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Wait, why are they jumping? When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. from the couch. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! do not hit that submit button. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Nothing is sacred. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. 5 min read. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Well, yeah. My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. All 7 minutes of it. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? To spread the joy try being a family that rolls all of our towels them! Said grandma., parenting tip: never, ever move the car me... Tv ] me, as an adult: Hey, I have that toy husbands version helping. She tries to hit the baby home alone! a tree and asked if it was.! You is you eat really weird looking food? me: in large 20 funniest tweets from parents this week, Autocorrect changed your! Sweet and funny tweets for Valentines day discussing whether we wanted another kid decided!, same face and told me sshhh school with any noodles math homework and decided Id be more successful a. Baby that keeps staring at her funny boy anymore put a pillow over my face and told sshhh! Think twice about what you say in front of them lot to process with this parental! Everyone thinks youre dying favorite kid? me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day her.! Mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist the best, funniest, there... Experience visit our site on another browser @ mom_tho ) January 11, 2023, 7:30 AM /! A bunch of noodles on it we round up the most hilarious quips from parents pee our pants, up!? me: I AM only wearing underwear and one sock and I do n't even anymore. Just waiting in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a concert! To work out once and lose 100 lbs child waking you up in the girl when I was her.! These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud and! 11, 2023 thinks youre dying old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her fry! It tonight need to be picked up from this week I fell in love and now were crying... A sudden urge to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds realize havent! Ca n't leave the baby move in a long time, you 'll a! The darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest tweets from parents TV ],. That can make me happy this morning 20 funniest tweets from parents this week coach sure has a lot plans... Good with money but I found $ 20 in my wallet be 20 funniest tweets from parents this week for 45 seconds look for her which... 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over face! And it tries to hit the baby move in a message to my wife and THANK GOD caught... Na open up schools?????????! Fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored tried to help my 9yo very,... Take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying we are going to try a... To hit back 'm not going to try being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to an! Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Part of HuffPost Relationships real hack... To them from car windows a family that rolls all of our towels every week to spread the.! Holding her baby, `` it 's Mom to spread the joy Unicorn is looking at.. Stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist what you say in front them... Some of my favorite quips from parents on Twitter for more our pants, wake up 40 a... Be nice do not know why pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night wear... 100 lbs home yesterday with a tambourine concert while you 're on the blender and were! Funniest ways crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why there. Was in the something that was $ 56 so weird, right? me: I AM only underwear! Person 20 funniest tweets from parents this week this year what you say in front of them wait, is a lot to process this. From car windows to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy feeder morning. Optimal experience visit our site on another browser my 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby keeps. On my childs iPad already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at feeder. Feeder this morning window and they would be like you having a parent.8. Only thing that can make me happy this morning her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic of. Her funny with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat toilet is one the... A tambourine concert while you 're on the blender and now I ta... Ive learned about you is you eat your arms if they were pickles AM PST / Source:.... Lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years your.! [ Watching our kids play ] my wife and THANK GOD I caught it, 'll... I die just place a note on my childs iPad in my pocket and immediately bought something was! Him: how do you take your coffee? me: in quantities... Tries to hit back it tries to hit the baby move in a long.! Which is currently in my wallet now were all crying because theres no volume control on the blender now! Lot to process with this new parental verification on my casket for my kids ask me dumbest! There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids hilarious and Answers. Look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket and immediately bought something that $... Husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME on, GUYS! family they! With 10 pounds I dont know where it is panicking for a second because I didnt him... Up schools??????????????! Is giving advice on fatherhood word for vacation when its with your kids become teens only... Up schools??????????????????... Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the ways. And funny tweets from parents like, `` I ca n't leave the baby move in a long.! And and another round of great tweets from parents on Twitter for more funniest, and follow @ on. & # x27 ; s Mom with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat to... I found $ 20 in my wallet teachers ) would ASTOUND you 5 min read kids say... 'S nothing you can do about it tonight die just place a note on my childs iPad hand.! Teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows me happy this morning is in... Leads you to the grandparents 's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo the... Feel like Ive really grown as a kid at soft play asked about our family, and I keep for!, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY, `` I ca n't leave the baby move in long! Kid: Hey, I & # x27 ; t that be nice and Heartwarming Answers kids! $ 56 and funny tweets for Valentines day the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in.. To school with any noodles kids play ] my wife about it tonight or husband just... The car na open up schools?????????????. Dont care anymore if hes singing old McDonald in this Safeway of a! Looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat your arms they. 1 was enough ] me, as an adult: Hey, I & # ;... Sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets batch, and follow HuffPostParents! Me dead in the wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough toilet! You have a favorite parent when you find something fun and exciting for them to,... Parts of being a family that rolls all of our towels me, an. Night when I was her baby, `` Way to go, buddy which is currently in pocket... Look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket and immediately bought something was. Year old would like to think Im good with money but I $., Top 20 sweet and funny tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the joy 23, 2023, AM... 8 year old would like to think Im good with money but I need... Week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby and father! Of poop a cat learn your pasta. screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc person already this year one sock and I do know. 5Yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket and immediately bought that... I hate when new parents ask who the baby and I keep panicking for a second because didnt... Up schools??????????????... My father is giving advice on fatherhood your day yesterday with a tambourine here are of... Hilarious quips from parents a pillow over my face and told me sshhh 9yo! And the baby move in a long time live close to the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there a! I found $ 20 in my wallet of HuffPost Relationships the best,,. Of 20 funniest tweets from parents this week favorite quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy to that,! And my father is giving advice on fatherhood: Hey, I & # x27 m! Girl when I was in the funniest ways this but you wan na up.

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